In the aftermath of Nuremburg
The Allies cast the net out
To pull in Nazis of lesser infamy.
General Burkhalter ratted out Colonel Klink,
Then took a powder to Argentina
To play pinochle with Doctor Mengele.
The morning of Wilhelm Klink's trial,
A long black limousine pulled up
To monopolize the parking space
In front of the Judicial Building.
Corporal Newkirk, the charming con-man, card sharp
And master of disguise, roused himself from his dream
Of changing his name to "Richard Dawson"
And becoming a randy game show host
To mutter, "Jesus Christ! Won't you look at that?"
"That's old Sergeant Schultz," Frenchy LeBeau exclaimed.
"I'd heard that he made a killing in the Black Market
During the war, but I never believed it until now."
"That bloody clever rotter!" Newkirk chortled,
Laughing the appreciative glee of a scammer
Who recognizes the beauty of someone else's con.
"When that old fox kept telling us and telling us
'I know nothing. NOTHING!'
That shrewd old son of a bitch
Really DID know something."
